I give the details here for it might assist another with issues that they, he or she might be having.
I am very grateful that I am able to figure out what is wrong with myself. Meaning that if I am depressed, I can actually diagnose the situation and then take action. Too often people can become depressed or have another illness and not be able to figure out what is wrong without going to the doctor. Then there are trials of medications. Some work, some require dosage changes, some do not work. Please do NOT misunderstand what I am saying. If you feel that you may be depressed and that you need help, seek the aid of a physician. This has happened to me twice before. For me, I have discovered that it is best to figure out what is wrong and then see the doctor and make my request.
The first time that this happened to me was 1984. Right, I am Orwellian. My daughter had gone away to college. It did not bother me one wit. Really! But I stopped sleeping. And I mean that I acquired a real and nasty bout of insomnia that lasted for 6 months. It was bad enough, that I could say that I stopped sleeping altogether (although that was not quite true). I became afraid of “nighttime.” I did not wish to rely upon sleeping pills. I read everything on earth that I could find out about insomnia. I discovered that along with my estrogen, I should be taking progesterone. So, I asked my OBGYN for a prescription. I started taking the new hormone immediately. There was no relief whatsoever. Obviously, I had not quite finished my research. Remember there was no Internet back then. Back to my research. The doctor new nothing. I might add that this town is a pill pushing town when it comes to the practice of medicine. That is simply the medical tradition here.
The upshot of this is that I discovered a prescription, made to order, made from a yam, in suppository form, medication. Yams contain natural progesterone. One dose and I slept like a baby from that day forth. I continue to do so although I stopped taking the drug long ago. The next time that this happened to me my physician gave me Zoloft. In two weeks I felt fine and wished to come off the drug. But, I could not do so. When I told my physician the problem he chuckled and said to me” “yeah, my daughter can’t seem to come off it either.” This was not the response that I hoped for! I got the flu shortly there after. I was ill enough that I needed to go to bed for several days. Low and behold, I slept trough my pill taking time. I awoke, got up, dressed, went about my day and I was off the Zoloft and the nasty effects of coming “off” it. Thankfully.
I have had many life changes recently. When that happens to you when older, if can have depressive effects. I added up all of these changes and said to myself: “of course you are depressed.” But something did not quite sit right, something was off with my thinking. I just felt as if I had not thought it fully through. And I hadn’t. One of those changes is that after 30 years and five failed attempts I actually successfully came off my estrogen, about 4-7 weeks ago. After realizing this I now knew exactly what was going on. Hormones again. I shall seek the assistance of a physician who works with bio-identical hormones. I had looked to switch from traditional hormone therapy to bio-identical about five years ago. No one here had any idea of what I spoke. Today this town is full of doctors who prescribe them. Just Google it. So a poem to lift the spirits:
sO!
“U” “R”
feeling … dePRESSed … R U?
DIS – – – affected
D
O
W
N
you (R) wishing
that U could leave
Go somewhere else
Begin [Again]
DE {pression}
Is not unique
to you
…… But you are
U.
To this
world
there is [no one]
quite
….. like you
(this)
FACT gives
U,u,U,u,
A variety of GI…FTS
Unique to
{you}
Dis
cover what they R
they ///// Will /////
Give you the tools . . . . .
that U need
Tools 2 unlock your…..SELF
self
self
self
self
sELf … selfIE … U.
2 find within
The key to what WILL
H>E>L>P … u
You might say:
What IS wrong?
Then you may see your
[self]
AND
FIX
what is wrong ??? hMM
U have HA…D many cha{N}ges
So, you know
that {ALL} of those (c) hang es
at
your
age
OH (my) OH (my) Finally . . . . .
(I) get IT
{Y}
[e]
{a}
{h}
!!!!
…hor…MONE{s}
aGain.
Mary has shared some incredible photos at the Poetry Pantry of Annell’s. Photos from “Fall Comes to Cimarron Canyon,” New Mexico, USA. They are glorious! So Poetry Pantry it is!
I shall be around to see you Monday morning.
noh where 