I have two questions for any and everyone who reads this post. I guess in reality I am looking for some ideas. The first question follows a difficult situation of just flailing around. I am just flailing around. The second question is a technical question, which results from something happening to me repetitively and annoyingly.
Question One:
Why am I creatively stuck? I have always been a creative person, very creative. However, I am currently stuck and have I been so for quite some time. I do not know what I wish to do. My husband is very supportive of me finding my creative outlet. I have an art space set up – within an excellent light space in our living room. I have water paints, acrylics, inks, pastels and other media from which to create. I have paper, a box easel (graciously given to me for Christmas by my daughter), how to books – everything that one might need to proceed except for inspiration.
For years, many of you knew that I wrote poetry. When I stopped, it was terrible losing my weekly connections to people with whom I had become “friends through writing.” I tried to write again and again but it just never panned out. I finally realized that I was clinically depressed and I did something about it. However, creativity has still not returned to me.
I have gone thru the good practice of forgiving those whom I needed to forgive, so as to move forward. But there is still no motivation nor inspiration. I guess that this is like writers block. So, I know that there are tricks to the trade so to speak, exercises to move one forward.
So, if anyone out there has any tricks or ideas that might nudge me forward into creativity, that would be great. And thank you ahead of time.
Question Two:
Why do the comments that I leave upon people’s blogs disappear, without fail, all of the time? There is usually a choice of commenting via my Google Account, URL and anonymously. No matter what I choose, the moment that I post a comment it disappears, forever. And, this is not a case of “comment will be visible once OK’d by the blog owner.”
Any ideas? I would so appreciate anything you might have to say. Thank you.
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Unfortunately, I can not answer why you are creatively stuck at the moment. I do know that with clinical depression it is harder to continue to do the things you used to love, for me it is hard to work up the will to write, read, or act: all things that used to bring me a profound joy. I think it might because we get lost in the idea of what we are creating, get lost in our minds while we delve into our art only to have it lost in the end, so eventually it stops feeling the same, and you feel numb to the work you used to live for because you stop seeing a meaning in it and yourself. I truly hope you can find a way back into your creative stream, no longer how long it takes, I believe you can find your way back. Maybe take a few days to yourself, taste the sunshine in a way you haven’t in a while, and walk barefoot in the grass. Try to feel aligned with the world, let the wind whisper in your ear. I wish all the luck ❤ As for the comments, I am new to wordpress and have no idea why your comments disappear, I hope it fixes itself soon!
What a thoughtful reply. Thank you so much for taking the time. I will give what you said much thought . . . mull it over and certainly utilize some of your suggestions. Again, many thanks.
I was so delighted to see your post pop up on my blogroll! Yay! I missed you! I remember when i felt stuck, the more i thought about being stuck, the more stuck i got. Maybe try to trick your brain into getting un-stuck by not thinking about being stuck. Rather tell yourself this has been a time of gestation and you are interested in seeing what pops up. Maybe instead of poems, write something free flowing like morning pages, or whatever you are thinking about…….in time the words will flow again. By the way, at Poets United on Sunday, Magaly Guerrero is offering a prose prompt….to choose one of your poems and write a PROSE piece of less than 313 words about the poem. I found that very easy. I dont know any tricks for artists, but putting paint on the canvas without expecting anything beyond enjoying the feeling sounds good. I dont know why your comments disappear…….that is weird…..i love the first comment…..being in nature is always inspiring to me……you can describe what you see….or paint what you see. I think this post indicates your creative self wants to get to work…….i am so happy to read you again! Yay!
Hi Sherry, oh my goodness, how wonderful to see you. Thank you friend for your sweet and helpful reply. I can still write. It is other media I wish to explore. And thank you for the tip about Sunday. If I have time I will join. Really good to see you. Hugs
Hello!
I am a survivor of 3 years of weekly childhood sexual abuse in the backrooms of my pastor father’s church by an older teen, so I do understand what depression can do to one’s creativity. Speaking personally as a survivor–without of course having any wisdom on your own uniqueness and unique situation–it comes down to a matter of expectations: what I expect of myself; what I expect to happen to people generally; what I expect should be mine to have and experience. When I become absolutely honest with myself, I admit 1) I do not know where I/we ultimately came from, and therefore do not know where I/we will ultimately go to; and 2) I constantly try to live as though the reverse is the case–that although everyone else around me is going to die, I’m not–and that although everyone else around me doesn’t seem to have it together, I ought to, and probably should.
So when I burden myself with all manner of expectations–that I ought to be as creative as Picasso; that I ought to experience life as a kind of demi-god who knows alot about everything and therefore ought to be as expressive as the very profound person I inwardly am; that I should have ‘this’ and should be entitled to ‘that; that something must be wrong with me for not being as great as others think they are–when I load onto my shoulders all these ego-centred burdens, I am absolutely unable to do anything except freeze and grow silent and feel inadequate and feel paralyzed creatively.
But when I reach deep down and admit that actually none of us ‘knows’ in any ultimate sense who we really are–and therefore no one on the planet has as a better grasp about life than I do–then I level the playing field. I level the playing field because what I have to say poetically, or artistically, or creatively is as valid and expressive as anyone else, because NONE OF US knows where we came from and where we’re going, and we are all trying to make sense of something that remains a huge, gaping, mind-numbing mystery.
So what you, Liz, have to contribute about your own one-of-a-kind feelings about this great and terrible mystery we have been born into, is possibly going to help me and others like me, make sense of our own journey. So please do continue to flail away at expressing yourself in order to chip away at solving this enormous puzzle about life–who are we really? where are we going, really? what is love? what is life? what does depression feel like to you? what makes you feel less depressed, and why? what is the poem inside you about that experience–when your depression lifted and you were able to smile again? what makes you feel valued and what makes you feel we actually are not alone, but are in fact, loved and cherished, and part of something very very special?
Thank you for giving your readers an opportunity to respond to your reaching-out! It has helped me to feel I might be possibly helping you!
Hi Lance – your words are wonderful. I appreciate them. Now let’s see if I can actually reply. Technically that is.
Liz, we have lost touch and it may be because I moved. I am back in Tofino! Joy! My email address is wildwomantwo@gmail.com. I am not sure if I have the right one for you, let’s catch up. Glad you are still writing.